Cuatro Crazy

An Ode to the Majesty of the Four Loko and Last Friday Night

Guilty Pleasures | Catie Kartje | February 28, 2016

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One sip

Two sip

Fruit Punch sip

Blue Hurricane sip.

Black Cherry sip

Uva Berry sip

Cold sip

Lukewarm sip.

I drank it on the way to the bar.

I almost got hit by a car.

Say! What a lot

of sips there are.

Yeah, some taste like poison, some send shivers down your spine,

just have enough and it’ll start to taste fine.

Some help you dance,

some make you fall,

and some make you feel not right at all.

Why did you start crying

to Taylor Swift’s “Back to December”?

I don’t know, man,

I can’t remember.

Some make you hop the fence

Into Tompkins Square Park.

Some lead you into a strange bar,

Some make you question if you even know where you are.

Some make you nostalgic for your freshman year in Rubin,

Some make you feel like you’re not really human.

Some make you forget that anything ever mattered,

Until you become aware that right next to you a window has shattered.

Oh me!  Oh my!

Oh me!  Oh my!

So many angry strangers passing by.

How did we get here?  I can’t say.

But these dudes think we broke their window and they’re trying to make us pay.

Some make you run from the cops

and make you drop your NYU ID,

Some make you get in fights

With Public Safety.  

O, Four Loko,

You’ve probably shortened my lifespan.

So much fucked up

in just one can.